I'm a terrible entertainer.
Correction - I'm a terrible at entertaining family in my home.
For over a week, I've been battling anxiety and pain from stress headaches.
All because we had family come to the house this weekend. I love my family.
But, I don't love the judgement and criticism from them. I don't even think they
realize they do it, they've been doing it for so long.
"My, you sure do have a lot of weeds in your gardens."
"Don't you think you should paint the walls? They havea lot of scribbles on them."
"Your home could be nice if you could just remodel the kitchen and bathroom."
~ They're not weeds. They're wild, medicinal plants.
Some of which I have infusing in oil for future salves.
~ I prefer to think of the scribbles as custom artwork from the children.
~ What the fuck?!
But, I suck it up, inhale my lavender oil, and deal with it.
Because of this little girl.
She turned 9 on Sunday.
She deserves to have everyone who loves her be there to celebrate with her.
Happy birthday to your little girl!!! Family is tough sometimes, hope it all went okay.
ReplyDeleteLovely little gal indeed! Ah, family...no filter. Hope your headaches start to fade away as your wild plants begin to thrive in summer's warmth. Sounds wonderful to me. :)
ReplyDeletehappy belated birthday to her. and try to ignore the family. easier said than done. I never manage ;)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday!!! Ignore the family-they are draining and not worth the thought. I chant in my head how many hours are left when certain family are here. I swear I will never ever be like that!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your girl!!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, you have had a stressful two weeks, friend! What we do for our children (and our family)I have had a few members of my family who think criticism is the way they show care and concern for people. But if you try to tell them, you are being critical. WTF?! Is right. Thinking of you. xo
To see your 9 year old smile, thrive and be around her family is worth temporary discomfort.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the trickiness of family relations and the strain it puts on me emotionally.
It has taken ALOT of time but I have erected boundaries with them and continue to this day. It is balancing act to take care of myself mentally and emotionally.
The reality for me is that they are not going to change, they will always be the way they are and to find peace witin me to be around them is something with time I can learn to do.
The stronger I felt in my own skin the better I was able to be around them.
With that being said, I would have LOVED to have been there to see your "weeds" growing and "scribbles" on the wall, lets me know I am in the right place.
Take good care of your self today.
I love my family too and want my kids to have those connections, but it is hard. I have had to have some very hard and stressful talks with them to let them know we may do things differently, but we have that right and it doesn't mean we don't love them. They pretty much know the boundaries now and things have gotten easier. But our issues were different and I'm not sure what I would do with constant small criticisms. That's rough. I hope your daughter had a wonderful birthday and that you can relax and feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteI had a family member like that once. She has now passed (a grandmother.) I actually couldn't think of anything nice to say about her when she passed. She loved me "in her way." It's difficult when you don't like the people in your family.
ReplyDeleteHappy Bday to your little sweetie.
XO
C
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ReplyDeleteShe is special, you can see intelligence, and particular knowing in her dark eyes.
ReplyDeleteI admire your sacrifice for her.
Paint yourself a sign to frame and hang in a prominent place in your home, "Be kind, or be gone."
Breathe deep.
Blessings.
happy belated birthday to your beautiful girl....nine has been quite a rollercoaster ride for us so far -- i wish you smoother travels!!
ReplyDeletesorry about the family stuff...it's a double-edged sword, that one...i'm thankful that whatever my family thinks of the way we live, they manage not to mention it out loud. plus, i think that over time, they're seeing how much our choices have benefited us all...
xoxo
Thank you, everyone! She did enjoy her day. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm working on finding a balance, but it can be tough with family.
I always say friends are the family we choose for ourselves. I really do love my blog family!
xo
Aww man, so sorry you had to deal with that Amanda. I try to remember that when people criticize it's due to their own insecurity and need to feel better about themselves. My guess is that you have a beautiful home, I know you have a beautiful energy, and am certain you threw a beautiful birthday party and scribbles on the wall and weeds in the garden was the best they could come up with lol!! Next time they come around, tell them to go ahead and weed and paint. Happy belated to your beautiful girl...
ReplyDeletexo
I smile at your post because it reminds of conversations i have with some family members. Luckily the visits are far and in between and my immediate family is not like that. Just keep on breathing!
ReplyDelete